Hi !

Hi Everyone!

First, I would like to introduce myself & my love, I go by Ny and I am Cambodian-American. First generation and the first daughter of my parents to get married. My soon to be husband is Tra, He's in the Navy currently deployed and is also Cambodian-American and the second of his siblings to be married but the first in the states.

*Bottom of the page has details on the origins of Cambodian Weddings, source - cambodian-wedding.com*

Since we're on a time crunch with his deployment he is only allowed TWO weeks and within those two weeks, we will be having our ceremony. It will be held Friday evening and then Saturday morning until noon. Reception is later that Saturday evening from 7 to midnight.

Step 1: Decide on a date that is reasonable for both parties. July is more ideal because students are out of school and it's easier for family to travel without worrying about their children.

Step 2: Reserve a restaurant (after a lesson learnt please book within at least 8 months prior!! I almost was unable to obtain my first choice of a restaurant for my reception and had to go with plan d!) Make sure you have an appointment to talk to the coordinator about the menu and beverages especially know the amount of tables that you want. you would want to go over a guest list with your parents and in laws! Cambodians DO NOT RSVP! so it'll be very VERY HARD!

Step 3: Book a band or dj. Since we LOVE to dance, preferably a Cambodian band.

Step 4: Book the Cambodian dresser (she provides all the clothing/jewelry/products for the ceremony) You'll be able to choose over 6 outfits ranging in beautiful colors. Make sure they know how to do hair and make up (or do them yourselves)

Step 5: Book the monks and spokesperson for each side of the family (usually an elder who knows your family well and could speak nothing but positive things about you) and also "thervada's" they are the ones who sings and dance (basically entertainment( but they get things rolling as for instance the "hair cutting" part.

Step 6: INVITATIONS!! maybe this should have been right after the restaurant but then you would want to have everything in order to be able to have all the information you need! I still don't have minds and I have 5 months left! It's hard when you have to do an English/Khmer one and for it to be NOT TACKY. I'm hoping I'll be able to find a wonderful one soon!

Step 7: Make sure your family members from out of state or those with hectic schedules know! So they can plan their vacation time to go to your wedding! It's urgent because it's a wedding without these members aren't as fun! They can help a LOT and would do much good! :]

Step 8: Buy your bridal gown, bridesmaids gown, rent the grooms tux and the groomsmen. The guys can be last but be sure to have yours done within the 7 months prior ( In case of alterations, ordering, etc.) Shoes, Accessories, ETC.

Step 9: Learn more about the ceremony, your not in this alone INCLUDE your MOTHER, AUNTS, SISTERS, COUSINS. Why? They'll relieve the stress off of you! Plus it's easier to have someone who speaks Khmer.

I believe that may be it for now. I still have a LOT to do. Only recently I have booked my restaurant, my band, my dresser, and told family members little by little. Not only that but make sure your bridal party is able to be there and the groomsmen! My wedding is taking place in Atlanta and the grooms family is coming from South Philadelphia! TOUGH~

Information on Cambodian Weddings Source - www.Cambodian-Wedding.com

Origins of the Khmer Wedding

Khmer weddings symbolize the beautiful legend of the origin of Cambodia and parallels the marriage of the first Khmer prince, Preah Thong, to the naga princess, Neang Neak. The prince was a foreigner exiled from his homeland, and during his travels encountered and fell in love with the naga princess. As a marriage gift, the father of the naga princess swallowed a part of the ocean, and thus formed the land of Cambodia.
A traditional Khmer wedding is one of the most joyous occasions for a Khmer family and typically lasts from three days to an entire week. It is a grand affair, full of color and festivity, as well as steeped in tradition. Family, friends, and other members of the community come together to share in the celebration. Musicians play throughout the day on traditional instruments, and the couple is dressed like royalty. The bride may change her outfit several times in one day. If the wedding were a weeklong affair, she could declare the color of her dress each day and the guests would dress only in that color.

Unlike most Western weddings, guests are usually highly animated during the ceremonies, with elders typically explaining the significance of the various customs to the younger generation. Please feel free to turn to a neighbor if you should have questions or comments about what is occurring. You may also stand up and leave the room if you need to stretch your legs. Guests freely move in and out during ceremonies, which is not considered rude.

Cambodian weddings traditionally consist of ceremonies and celebrations lasting three days and three nights. Three is considered to be an especially auspicious number by Cambodians because of its association with the "three jewels" of Buddhism: the Buddha, the Sangha (brotherhood of monks), and the Dhamma (the Buddha's teachings). Due to the demands of modern day life however, today, both in Cambodia and overseas, all the following wedding ceremonies are usually completed in just one day.

Presentation of Dowry

Cambodian weddings begin with the groom and his family traveling to the bride's home bearing gifts to the bride's family as dowry. In most of today's weddings ceremonies however, all guests invited to the morning celebration will participate in this travel. This usually happens in the early morning hours (circa 7am) in order to benefit from the coolness of the day and also allow compatibility with working hours.

The groom will await before the door the arrival of the bride. The bride welcomes the groom with flowers and other gifts.

Family members and friends are introduced, and wedding rings exchanged.

Three traditional songs accompany the presentation of dowry:

Neay Pream He Kaun Kamlas (Arrival of the Groom) · A song telling the story of the groom and his family's journey to the bride's house bearing meats, fruits, pastries, drinks and desserts of every variety to be presented on the wedding day.

Chambak Rouy (Presenting the Dowry) · A dialogue between the matchmakers, parents, relatives, and friends of the bride and groom in which the groom's family and friends officially present the dowry gifts to the bride's family.

Pak Paeuk Pisa Sla (Inviting the Elders to Chew Betel Nut) · Presentation of the betel nut to the bride and groom's elders. In turn, parents of both the bride and groom ask for blessings and well-wishes for their children.

Hair Cutting Ceremony

To prepare the bride and groom for their life as a married couple, their hair is symbolically cut, representing a fresh start to their new relationship together as husband and wife. The master of ceremony performs the first symbolic hair cut and wishes the couple happiness, prosperity, and longevity. The bride and groom's parents, relatives, and friends then take turn to symbolically cut the bride and groom's hair and give them blessings and well-wishes. (In the old days, the bride and groom's hair were really cut during this ceremony, but in modern times it is only done symbolically.) Two songs accompany this ceremony:

Sarika Keiv Vong (The Beautiful Cardinal Bird) · The bride's beauty is extolled and compared to that of the beautiful cardinal bird.

Trapeang Peiy (The Village Pond) · This song describes a pond with clear water where the bride was brought to take her bath. It also symbolizes the bride and groom working together in beginning their new life as wife and husband

Pairing Ceremony

In this final and most memorable stage of the wedding, family members and friends tie the bride and groom's left and right wrists with blessing strings. The praises and well-wishes of happiness, good health, success, prosperity, and long-lasting love are acknowledged and witnessed by the loud sound of the gong and joyful cheer. The ceremony concludes with a shower of palm flowers thrown over the new couple. Four songs accompany this ceremony:

Phat Cheay · A melody inviting the bride, accompanied by her bridesmaids, to the pairing ceremony. A distinguished female relative leads the bride into the room.

Kang Saeuy · A melody accompanying the offering of gifts to the ancestor spirits and asking for their blessings.

Bangvel Po Pil (Seven Rotations) · Only married couples are permitted to sit around the bride and groom as the sacred flame is rotated seven times around the new couple. The flame of the pure bee-wax candle represents anger, which the couple should avoid as it can disrupt the marriage relationship. The smoke of the flame, however, is sacred enough to protect them from all evils if they are sincerely committed to each other. Family members who receive the candle motion their hands over the flame to guide the smoke of the sacred flame over the bride and groom.

Bay Khon Chang Dai (Tying the Wrists) · While the bride and groom's wrists are tied with the blessing strings, the following song is sung: "We tie, we tie three strings to each wrist of our children. We wish for true happiness and success to this couple, who will always be together like wet grass seeds. We tie your left wrist to make you remember your parents. We tie your right wrist to make you carry on the family lineage and traditions."

Bongvul Pbopul - Passing of Blessings

"Mun ouy laing leah, mun ouy prort preah."
"Do not separate, do not part ways."

In this ceremony, currently married couples are asked to gather in a circle around the bride and groom. Three candles are lit and handed from person to person. Each participant passes his or her right hand over it in a sweeping motion towards the couple, sending or throwing a silent blessing to them. Only married couples are asked to participate, as it is believed that they will pass along the special quality or essence which has preserved their union. The candles are passed around the circle clockwise seven times to complete the ceremony.

Sompeas Ptem - Knot Tying Ceremony

Khmer weddings traditionally have a knot tying ceremony, but unlike what the name implies, it is the guests who tie the knots, not the bride and groom. Close family and friends are invited to come forward to bring their best wishes and blessings to the new couple by individually tying ribbons around each of their wrists. These knots are tied on both the bride and groom, who were traditionally required to wear them for three days afterwards to preserve the good luck. This ceremony has customarily been considered an ideal opportunity to take a picture of each guest in attendance with the new couple.