Day By Day

Less than 150 days to go before the big day(s)!

So, I was talking to a friend of mines last night about south east Asia wedding ceremonies. Explaining about how many outfits I would have to change into for both Friday and Saturday's ceremony. Her first thought as an American was "DAMN! This is not the Grammy's! Why do you need to change so much?" 6 outfits...well let's make it 7 adding my bridal gown as well. Well with the previous post about each little event that we had to do (basically it is an event...it each symbolizes something that our culture lives on and respects) A TRADITIONAL Cambodian wedding would be a week long affair, in the last decade it was shorten to 3 days and now even shorter to fit people work schedules to 1 to 2 days. Each day was a different color, which meant a different outfit. This was is not only a cultural custom for the Khmer's but also Laos or Thai people as well.

Here's my breakdown on my 6 outfits that I already had chosen the color for (Since I already booked my dresser, we went ahead and picked what outfit I would wear so she can adjust it to

fit my body.)

Friday

Sot Moun (Moments of Prayer)

This is when we would have the monks around to bless the wedding and our future as husband and wife. I have a white top and brownish skirt.

(I wanted to go for an olden historical piece because I absolutely love our history and culture..which made me pick this outfit on the spot)

Sorry this is a blurry photo (I had to cut it from another set >,<) It has a rich brown and gold lining all over the skirt. The skirt is usually made into a "Kubun" which is how this young lady is wearing it.

Hual (Parade)

This is when the groom, his family & friends march

to the brides house bearing gifts of fruits, jewelry, and beverages. (Must be two of each to signify a match or pair

for the future husband and wife)

When he reaches her house, She would come out bearing flowers and welcoming the groom (along with her parents) into the house. This outfit would be gold because I just find a rich feeling from the fabrics and how we would look with the colors (don't want to look to dark, especially with Tra coming back for R&R and he may be burnt) This photo is how it would look when put together nicely. Looks a bit orange but maybe it's the photo...The bride would be adorn with jewelry (it's heavy) and having so many layers on just to look like a princess and him a prince.

Once they are inside they would exchange rings and show the dowry around to the family to show that the groom has offered all of these goods to the brides family and that they would have a wonderful future together since he is able to provide.

Saturday (starts 7/8 AM *Bride wakes up at 5AM along with her bridesmaid for makeup & hair)

Hair cutting (not actually cutting the hair >,<)

I went with a nice vibrant blue( color above ) instead of red since Tra is NOT fond of the color red..(plus it was too red for me..it would've look nice though hehe) This is when TWO dancers come in as "Thervada" or goddess/god who came down from heaven to give their blessing to the future husband and wife (dancers are usually 1 male and 1 female) they would go around and keep everyone entertain and would begin the hair cutting ceremony by dancing and singing and "pretending" to cut the couple hair which signifies cutting the past and starting a new future. Also during the ceremony the couple should NOT have any remorse or anything bad in their minds, keeping it blank with happy thoughts is of utmost importance! for getting married should be the best thing to ever happen in one's life. After the dancer is done, parents of each side and family and friends is able to cut their hair (married couples only)

Tying the Knot

This is where I would wear a burgundy (that purple one above looks redish but..it isn't!). During this session I would clean his feet (I don't exactly know why...but I'm not ACTUALLY cleaning it just a little tap on each feet) before we are seated to do our last part of the house ceremony. Tying the knot is basically when other MARRIED couples would come and tie a blessed string on each side of the bride and grooms wrist of eternal happiness and luck. This is usually family members and close friends, this is also the time to take photos with the new couple and to also present them gifts such as jewelry. The brides family would give bracelets or necklaces to the bride or even the groom along with other things they choose to give.

During tying the knot there are palm flowers that were bless the previous day used to thrown (like how Americans throw rice) but we use palm flower or was it jasmine? Whichever it is, It's hard to find! Either in California or Florida! Anyway, the guest would throw these seeds to the bride and groom for prosperity (others would take it as an advantage to hurt us while we are at a disadvantage! they would throw it VERY HARD!)

After tying the know the bride and groom goes around the room with a sword 7 times as he holds onto her sleeve as they take each step for a new beginning as husband and wife. and WA'LA~ it's practically done >,<.. until the reception...3/4 hours later!

RECEPTION

Time to party? Guest: YES! Bridal Party/Groom & Groomsmen: NOPE! I have 3 outfit change. The first outfit would be a ROYAL PURPLE (picture up above with the blue one) which is used to greet our guest as they arrive. There are other hostess/host that would seat them since no one EVER RSVP! sigh sometimes they don't even READ the card! They only need the date & time. After all guest is seated (food comes out like at 8/8:30pm) I would change into my wedding gown in time for the introduction of the bride/groom and family members to the guest that were not able to go to the house ceremony (house ceremony is usually for family and close friends). After introducing everyone we would usually give a thank you speech for coming and also mentioning how far our guest had travel to attend the wedding. Then it would be the "First Dance" (98 Degree's - I DO (Cherish You)) and it's not common but I wanted to add the Father/Daughter dance (Heartland - I loved her first) After the dance we would cut the cake and then the dance floor is open for the guest to dance since we have a live band.

After the cake cutting..I'm off for another change of outfit! This time the PINK one (from above) to go table to table...to thank each guest for coming to our wedding and give them a gift for coming. They usually make us do little games to receive our gift as well like picking up the bride or eating something, even taking a shot of alcohol. (there's a lot of humor involved!) We offer them not only a gift but a cigarette and lighting it for them.

After going around to EACH table, I go in for my LAST outfit change! Back into my wedding gown! & Our duties are DONE and we would FINALLY be able to eat and dance and mingle with out guest and family members. Party would usually at midnight to 2AM depending on the site you are at. & That'll be the end and the MOST fun we all would have! Can't wait for the reception since our menu is mostly SEAFOOD! even the dessert look like it's from the sea but it isn't...those photos will come soon :]

HONESTLY, I know I forgot A LOT of parts that is in the wedding, such as a session where I would cry BOOOOHOOOO~~ When the spokesperson of my family would go about my parents and their hardship with me and my siblings. What my accomplishments were...ETC. Whatever it is, WILL BE EMOTIONAL! Either way~ I can't wait to experience every last memory I can make during this wedding and hope for the best!!

There are A LOT of things I still have to do...(As I finally made a check list of what I have done and so far all the BIG stuff is done...now everything is a bit difficult >,<)

Until next time~

Hi !

Hi Everyone!

First, I would like to introduce myself & my love, I go by Ny and I am Cambodian-American. First generation and the first daughter of my parents to get married. My soon to be husband is Tra, He's in the Navy currently deployed and is also Cambodian-American and the second of his siblings to be married but the first in the states.

*Bottom of the page has details on the origins of Cambodian Weddings, source - cambodian-wedding.com*

Since we're on a time crunch with his deployment he is only allowed TWO weeks and within those two weeks, we will be having our ceremony. It will be held Friday evening and then Saturday morning until noon. Reception is later that Saturday evening from 7 to midnight.

Step 1: Decide on a date that is reasonable for both parties. July is more ideal because students are out of school and it's easier for family to travel without worrying about their children.

Step 2: Reserve a restaurant (after a lesson learnt please book within at least 8 months prior!! I almost was unable to obtain my first choice of a restaurant for my reception and had to go with plan d!) Make sure you have an appointment to talk to the coordinator about the menu and beverages especially know the amount of tables that you want. you would want to go over a guest list with your parents and in laws! Cambodians DO NOT RSVP! so it'll be very VERY HARD!

Step 3: Book a band or dj. Since we LOVE to dance, preferably a Cambodian band.

Step 4: Book the Cambodian dresser (she provides all the clothing/jewelry/products for the ceremony) You'll be able to choose over 6 outfits ranging in beautiful colors. Make sure they know how to do hair and make up (or do them yourselves)

Step 5: Book the monks and spokesperson for each side of the family (usually an elder who knows your family well and could speak nothing but positive things about you) and also "thervada's" they are the ones who sings and dance (basically entertainment( but they get things rolling as for instance the "hair cutting" part.

Step 6: INVITATIONS!! maybe this should have been right after the restaurant but then you would want to have everything in order to be able to have all the information you need! I still don't have minds and I have 5 months left! It's hard when you have to do an English/Khmer one and for it to be NOT TACKY. I'm hoping I'll be able to find a wonderful one soon!

Step 7: Make sure your family members from out of state or those with hectic schedules know! So they can plan their vacation time to go to your wedding! It's urgent because it's a wedding without these members aren't as fun! They can help a LOT and would do much good! :]

Step 8: Buy your bridal gown, bridesmaids gown, rent the grooms tux and the groomsmen. The guys can be last but be sure to have yours done within the 7 months prior ( In case of alterations, ordering, etc.) Shoes, Accessories, ETC.

Step 9: Learn more about the ceremony, your not in this alone INCLUDE your MOTHER, AUNTS, SISTERS, COUSINS. Why? They'll relieve the stress off of you! Plus it's easier to have someone who speaks Khmer.

I believe that may be it for now. I still have a LOT to do. Only recently I have booked my restaurant, my band, my dresser, and told family members little by little. Not only that but make sure your bridal party is able to be there and the groomsmen! My wedding is taking place in Atlanta and the grooms family is coming from South Philadelphia! TOUGH~

Information on Cambodian Weddings Source - www.Cambodian-Wedding.com

Origins of the Khmer Wedding

Khmer weddings symbolize the beautiful legend of the origin of Cambodia and parallels the marriage of the first Khmer prince, Preah Thong, to the naga princess, Neang Neak. The prince was a foreigner exiled from his homeland, and during his travels encountered and fell in love with the naga princess. As a marriage gift, the father of the naga princess swallowed a part of the ocean, and thus formed the land of Cambodia.
A traditional Khmer wedding is one of the most joyous occasions for a Khmer family and typically lasts from three days to an entire week. It is a grand affair, full of color and festivity, as well as steeped in tradition. Family, friends, and other members of the community come together to share in the celebration. Musicians play throughout the day on traditional instruments, and the couple is dressed like royalty. The bride may change her outfit several times in one day. If the wedding were a weeklong affair, she could declare the color of her dress each day and the guests would dress only in that color.

Unlike most Western weddings, guests are usually highly animated during the ceremonies, with elders typically explaining the significance of the various customs to the younger generation. Please feel free to turn to a neighbor if you should have questions or comments about what is occurring. You may also stand up and leave the room if you need to stretch your legs. Guests freely move in and out during ceremonies, which is not considered rude.

Cambodian weddings traditionally consist of ceremonies and celebrations lasting three days and three nights. Three is considered to be an especially auspicious number by Cambodians because of its association with the "three jewels" of Buddhism: the Buddha, the Sangha (brotherhood of monks), and the Dhamma (the Buddha's teachings). Due to the demands of modern day life however, today, both in Cambodia and overseas, all the following wedding ceremonies are usually completed in just one day.

Presentation of Dowry

Cambodian weddings begin with the groom and his family traveling to the bride's home bearing gifts to the bride's family as dowry. In most of today's weddings ceremonies however, all guests invited to the morning celebration will participate in this travel. This usually happens in the early morning hours (circa 7am) in order to benefit from the coolness of the day and also allow compatibility with working hours.

The groom will await before the door the arrival of the bride. The bride welcomes the groom with flowers and other gifts.

Family members and friends are introduced, and wedding rings exchanged.

Three traditional songs accompany the presentation of dowry:

Neay Pream He Kaun Kamlas (Arrival of the Groom) · A song telling the story of the groom and his family's journey to the bride's house bearing meats, fruits, pastries, drinks and desserts of every variety to be presented on the wedding day.

Chambak Rouy (Presenting the Dowry) · A dialogue between the matchmakers, parents, relatives, and friends of the bride and groom in which the groom's family and friends officially present the dowry gifts to the bride's family.

Pak Paeuk Pisa Sla (Inviting the Elders to Chew Betel Nut) · Presentation of the betel nut to the bride and groom's elders. In turn, parents of both the bride and groom ask for blessings and well-wishes for their children.

Hair Cutting Ceremony

To prepare the bride and groom for their life as a married couple, their hair is symbolically cut, representing a fresh start to their new relationship together as husband and wife. The master of ceremony performs the first symbolic hair cut and wishes the couple happiness, prosperity, and longevity. The bride and groom's parents, relatives, and friends then take turn to symbolically cut the bride and groom's hair and give them blessings and well-wishes. (In the old days, the bride and groom's hair were really cut during this ceremony, but in modern times it is only done symbolically.) Two songs accompany this ceremony:

Sarika Keiv Vong (The Beautiful Cardinal Bird) · The bride's beauty is extolled and compared to that of the beautiful cardinal bird.

Trapeang Peiy (The Village Pond) · This song describes a pond with clear water where the bride was brought to take her bath. It also symbolizes the bride and groom working together in beginning their new life as wife and husband

Pairing Ceremony

In this final and most memorable stage of the wedding, family members and friends tie the bride and groom's left and right wrists with blessing strings. The praises and well-wishes of happiness, good health, success, prosperity, and long-lasting love are acknowledged and witnessed by the loud sound of the gong and joyful cheer. The ceremony concludes with a shower of palm flowers thrown over the new couple. Four songs accompany this ceremony:

Phat Cheay · A melody inviting the bride, accompanied by her bridesmaids, to the pairing ceremony. A distinguished female relative leads the bride into the room.

Kang Saeuy · A melody accompanying the offering of gifts to the ancestor spirits and asking for their blessings.

Bangvel Po Pil (Seven Rotations) · Only married couples are permitted to sit around the bride and groom as the sacred flame is rotated seven times around the new couple. The flame of the pure bee-wax candle represents anger, which the couple should avoid as it can disrupt the marriage relationship. The smoke of the flame, however, is sacred enough to protect them from all evils if they are sincerely committed to each other. Family members who receive the candle motion their hands over the flame to guide the smoke of the sacred flame over the bride and groom.

Bay Khon Chang Dai (Tying the Wrists) · While the bride and groom's wrists are tied with the blessing strings, the following song is sung: "We tie, we tie three strings to each wrist of our children. We wish for true happiness and success to this couple, who will always be together like wet grass seeds. We tie your left wrist to make you remember your parents. We tie your right wrist to make you carry on the family lineage and traditions."

Bongvul Pbopul - Passing of Blessings

"Mun ouy laing leah, mun ouy prort preah."
"Do not separate, do not part ways."

In this ceremony, currently married couples are asked to gather in a circle around the bride and groom. Three candles are lit and handed from person to person. Each participant passes his or her right hand over it in a sweeping motion towards the couple, sending or throwing a silent blessing to them. Only married couples are asked to participate, as it is believed that they will pass along the special quality or essence which has preserved their union. The candles are passed around the circle clockwise seven times to complete the ceremony.

Sompeas Ptem - Knot Tying Ceremony

Khmer weddings traditionally have a knot tying ceremony, but unlike what the name implies, it is the guests who tie the knots, not the bride and groom. Close family and friends are invited to come forward to bring their best wishes and blessings to the new couple by individually tying ribbons around each of their wrists. These knots are tied on both the bride and groom, who were traditionally required to wear them for three days afterwards to preserve the good luck. This ceremony has customarily been considered an ideal opportunity to take a picture of each guest in attendance with the new couple.